Find The Flaw
When I see a fitness model in the flesh, I'm always blown away by their "beauty". With their chiseled abs and bulging biceps, these are some of the best looking men around, having graced the covers of such homo-rotica as Men's Workout and Exercise For Men Only. I admit it, I have a hard time not starring, but, in not been able to take my eyes of their perfect physiques, one begins to notice flaws!Shock! Horror! Yes, these guys aren't perfect. Their skin is bad, their hair receding, or as in the case of recent sighting Greg Plitt, they have absolutely no ass! No ass and no legs... He looks disproportionate with his perfectly-huge arms and chest dwarfing his non-existent ass and thighs. This realisation, first coined by another Kevin (Mike's buddy in DC), is known as "Find The Flaw," and will become my new favourite gym game. No longer will I been intimidated by apparent perfection... I will Find The Flaw!!!
Boy Drops Weights
So, we're working out next to this kid doing bench presses. He looks familiar. I'm sure he's some reality show contestant from Boy Meets Boy, or something of that ilk. He's a little guy, he's benching 135lbs, then all of a sudden CRASH! and he's dropped his weights. One of the 45s has fallen off the bar and he's floundering. We've all had it happen, it's embarrassing, you try and pretend it never happened, but still someone sniggers. Mike and I were the sniggerers. And right or wrong we continued to chortle at this D-Lister, as well as the other beautiful people we'd found flaws in, throughout the rest of our workout.
Cut to: Monday night and The Golden Globes. The nominations for Best Actor in a TV Mini-Series or Movie are being read out, and Mike and I are stunned into momentary silence... then bust out laughing. The kid we'd seen drops his weights... the skinny kid with bad skin... the one with the perpetual scowl we'd laughed at... none other than Jonathan Rhys-Meyers... the cute guy from Bend It Like Beckham... and he goes on and wins the Globe!"Thank you to all those who worked with me on Elvis , and to those guys who laughed at me at the gym - F**K You!"
6 comments:
Did you see him on the Golden Globes? He was HIGH as a kite! As he made his way to the stage, the BF and I both looked at each other and said, "OMG! This is going to be good!" Then he pulled it together and gave a flawless acceptance speech, all while pale as a ghost, trembling and sweating. Cute guy though...
"He looks disproportionate with his perfectly-huge arms and chest dwarfing his non-existent ass and thighs."
Those are called CPLs AKA Circuit Party Legs. It's pretty common in LA...all the guys that only focus on the upper bodies because they'll be wearing pants at the circuit parties.
not having seen the ass and legs I can still say the upper body is...
but onto you bitches... I love you both - but sniggering gives the gym a bad name! i've been going 5-6 times a week since before Christmas and it feels great - but it was the sniggers that truly kept me away from lifting until I finally got over people making fun of my little body and also learned how to turn my walkman up.
SO please be nice at the gym!
A-men to tos! I takes a act of God to get me comfortable around working out at the gym for fear that people are looking at me and laughing behind my back.
As for JRM - he had to be on something. Either that, or his botox was leaking out of his head.
I love hearing that these guys aren't perfect! But then again, you are a gay man in LA, Matt. You've got the highest standards in the country! :)
I have a PhD in finding flaws. I get it -- I'm going to Hell -- however, I will be the first to share with you my imperfections as well. It's all about checks & balances.
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