Big Brother: The Stuff We Don't See!

"I saw a vision. I won the POV, and I feel like that was God's way... of prepping me for this week... If everything pans out as God's told me its going to, you know, I'm going to win POV tomorrow and Jameka and me will be in the final two. That's what I really believe."

Oh, poor, dear, vocabulary challenged Amber, your vision didn't come to pass, but God may actually be on your side after all. It looks like we'll be saying "Bye Bye" to dear busty Jen this week. Backdoored by Danielle, Jen threw a wobbly once the prime-time cameras shut down for the night on Tuesday, ranting and raving, destroying Dick's fags and breaking from her season-long slop sentence, finally tucking in to some real food.

This earned her the first ever Big Brother penalty nomination:


Which was later changed to a single penalty vote. Seeing as she's sure to be gone this week, I suppose this will seem more dramatic on tonight's live Thursday show.

By the way a big “thank you” to Reality Blurred for keeping me updated on these real cumings and goings in the house (and by that I'm also referring to Eric's on-screen masturbation, a video of which has since been removed from YouTube), since I don’t subscribe to the live feed nor do I have Showtime Too. Oh well, much as I love BB8, three primetime hours and some online gossip is more than enough.

But back to Jen, who, truth be told, has been one of my favourite houseguests this season. Though truly self absorbed, her don’t care attitude and competitive edge have gotten her pretty far (although she’s been on the block numerous times). She's proved she’s there to play the game (and not just in it for the cash, having relinquished half her possible winnings during a veto competition), making her untelevised outbursts true to character. Let's face it, who really wants to play to lose? And this is effectively what she’s now doing. She may as well go out with a bang and have some fun (and some real food) while she finishes up her time in the BB house. Good on her, I'm sure I'd play it a similar way.

And yes Matt, I think (and am hoping) that Danielle will take it all, with Jess, Eric and sadly at this point I'm thinking Amber (maybe God's poisoning my mind) may actuallly round out the final four.

Big Brother Update: Week Whatever-It-Is

A hottieless house is not necessary a boring house, as the last couple of weeks of BB8 is proving. If anything Nick's ousting has helped the season, lighting the fire in Danielle and encouraging Dick to reluctantly make peace with Jen and (now gone) Kail.

Let's first talk Evil Dick, the voice of reason this season? Love him or hate (and I love him), he says what he thinks, is not afraid to confront people, point out their hypocrisies and tell it like it is. Maybe not the best way to play the game, but Dick is doing what he needs to to get Danielle to the end. Pissing off the other houseguests seems his way of making up for lost time and trying to be a good dad. A prime example being this outburst towards Amber (and Jameka) before the veto competition:

"You are one ugly bitch. On the life of your daughter I am going to make you so miserable every f***ing day that you regret ever seeing me. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Let's pray! You save her Jameka, even though you don't know how to save yourself. Help me Jesus! Help me Lord! Give me that magic ping-pong ball this morning!"

Oh Dustin, how I grow to hate reality TV homos! I begin each show hoping beyond hope that I am going to be able to identify with, and support to the end, the resident homo. This season ex-boyfriend Joe was flamingly obnoxious (so dispatched quickly), then Dustin became comfortable, started solidifying his role as leader of the LNC, and became as sanctimonious, annoying and preachingly precious as the God-fearing rest of them.

Dustin I ask you, which is a more "professional" career, a shoe salesman vs. bartender? Oh Princess!

In other news the blogs and forums are bubbling about rumours that producers of the show manipulate those Diary Room confessions (come on wasn't that obvious, last season Mike Boogie's explanations of each veto or HOH game were just so damn scripted), as well as the cast's incessant bigotry, which has supposedly reached an all time high. This has lead one very clever MySpacer to create the following very cool BB8 Prejudice map:

Big Brother: Jew Bashing Amber

What a surprise, good little god-fearing Christan girl Amber from Las Vegas, NV is a bigot.



And you wonder why I despise organized religion!

In other news America's Player Eric has found himself on the chopping block. After being instrumental in ousting of the delicious Nick last week, Eric was rumbled by Daniele after one of those airplane banner flybys (which stated that both Eric and Amber were liars).

Now this whole America's Player "twist" thing doesn't bother me so much, but Eric and those goddamn life-of-their-own eyebrows do! Does he have to make those goofey wide-eyed arched-brow expressions every time he reads one of the producers' Player messages? And then last week when he tired to compare himself to Nick, even going so far as to having the girls give him a faux-hawk, well that was the final straw. Time to say bu-bye Eric!

Vote Nick!

Don't let it be another hottieless year on CBS' summer reality staple, Big Brother. Have eyebrow happy America's Player Eric, vote out Kail on this Thursday's live eviction show (sadly voting will be closed by the time most of you read this).

We've already lost Mike, the painting contractor from Wisconsin (or more correctly the model from LA!). We can't possibly loose Nick, the former pro football player (and by that we mean European Federation of American Football player for the Seinäjoki Crocodiles, a team from Finland), and the lone surviving member of the Magnus/Kragnus dynamic strongman duo.


Let's face it any straight boy who can admit on national television that he has a Top Five guys that he'd sleep with, well that's a novelty in itself really isn't it. And to recap those guys are:

#1. Matthew McConaughey (naturally)
#2. Hugh Jackman
#3. Brad Pitt
#4. Unknown
#5. Ryan Reynolds

Come on America, and BB8 houseguests, let's please keep Nick in the house just a few weeks longer! I need some eye candy to deal with the increasingly sanctimonious ramblings of Dustin, Evil and co., which is beginning to sound a lot like squawking of Maggie, April and co. from Big Brother 6. And that's a truly scary proposition!

"I Got Scumbagged!"

"And after tonight I'm done making mistakes."

So said Danielle towards the end of stay in the Big Brother house. Continuing to make mistakes however, she was aptly disposed of by her Legion of Doom allies who had not invited to buy property in Chilltown.

By mid-August Big Brother had become way too frustrating for me to watch. Instead I would cache a number of episodes on the Tivo and then watch 3 or 4 in a single sitting. These "All-Stars," a term which I use very loosely, played the game like newbies, and were played by the Chilltown boys in a way that was embarrassing to watch (Janelle especially should be ashamed of herself). The good doctor Will, who probably should have won again, instead lead cohort Boogie to the end, where he unfittingly trounced Erika in the final duel. And yes, Rosie didn't like the outcome either:



Getting back to the current crop of reality shows it's great to have both Survivor and The Amazing Race back on form.

In it's 13th season Survivor may have over-hyped it's 2-episode racial division as a "social experience like never before," but tonight's episode kept me guessing with the ousting of *spoiler* pro volleyball-playing super-hottie JP really coming out of the blue with both gaysian Brad and square-jawed Adam banding with the chicks to vote him off. And yes, I already have my new campfire mug!

The 10th season of The Amazing Race hopefully eradicates the awful memories of the previous two seasons from our minds. Back with many of the classic stereotypes (the feuding couple, girly gays, hot blond chicks, studley models, underdog mommies, and estranged parent-child combos) that make the Race truly a joy to behold. I'm back on the edge of my seat during every episode and close to tears when Phil utters those fateful words "You're the last team to arrive. You have been eliminated from the race."

HOH Shocker!

Through the beauty of Tivo, I watched last night’s Big Brother eviction episode just this morning with my coffee and cookies. The backdooring of Kaysar was hardly unexpected, what with James’ turncoat formation of the Legion of Doom alliance with Danielle and the Chilltown boyz. What I didn’t expect was Julie Chen’s abrupt revelation to Kaysar that James had turned on S6, and Janelle in particular, calling her a “stupid bitch” among other things.

Kaysar, being suitably devastated, announced that he was “just not cut out for this game,” it being played in such an underhanded way. I just think he’s simply played the game like a pussy this year!

In a more shocking turn of events, Erika is actually not the HOH this week. There were technical malfunctions with the gaming equipment (rewinding my fabulous Tivo it was apparent that Howie did indeed hit his button and should not have been eliminated). Turns out that Janelle is, for the third time, back in charge!!!

BUT PLEASE JANEY, no more stupid nominations ‘coz you want to be the only pretty girl left in the house. It’s time to take out Chilltown, or at least that loser “Chicken” George.

Six Fingered Again?

To be backdoored once is unfortunate, but to be backdoored twice, well that's just plain sad.

And no, we're not talking about freaky sex acts.

But it looks like it’s happening again to poor Jase, the broad shouldered, Brad Pitt loving, former Four Horseman with the perfectly coiffed dirty blond locks from Big Brother’s 5th Season. Maybe his hissyfit wasn’t the best response, but I can sympathize. You want to play the game, not be played by the game! And certainly not the second time around!

But James, I ask you this: Is Chicken George really that big a threat (and yes I dislike him as much as you do)? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you should stick ‘em where it hurts! Take out the Big Bad’s (Dr. Will) stooge (Boogie), and then the good doctor is really gonna hate being in the house!

And finally you CBS All-Star producers, here’s one for you: Why not mix up this whole veto thing? Sporadically bring back the old Silver Veto (the winner of which can’t use it on themselves, even if they’re on the block), and better yet, introduce a new Platinum Veto™ (instead of the HOH choosing a new nominee, let the veto winner have that honor). And don't let the houseguests know hat type of veto it is until the game has been played. Now wouldn't that make the game more interesting?

I Can't Stand It!

They’re all idiots!

And Kaysar in particular! Truly, what was he thinking? Trying to get rid of “the floaters” thereby letting “Chilltown” slide for another week. OK, so Nakomis was the mastermind behind the 6-Finger Plan – which ousted Jase in Season 5 – but come on, with Erika winning the veto, this was the perfect opportunity to kick the Evil Dr. Will where it hurts, taking out of play snotty sidekick Mike Boogie, thus breaking up the one truly strong alliance in the house (yes “S6” ain’t so invincible, trust me). Instead Kaysar took the lily-livered pansy-boy way out by trying to save his own skin for a week or two longer.

At this point I’m rooting for Marcellas, the one voice of reason so far this season.

Will I be this delusional once I get in the Big Brother house?

Especially for Tos: Reality Round Up

Better late than never!

"How do you choose between gonorrhea or the clap?"

How deluded are these people in the Big Brother house? They've played the game once already, and still don't get it! Danielle lost first time around because people got sick of hearing that she needed to "bring home the money for the family." Alison worked it in Season 4, compromising both her morals and integrity... i.e. she was one conniving bitch! It may be true that "blonde girls hate blonde girls" (the producers must have been dieing for a Janelle-Alison catfight), but it wasn't a huge surprise when Alison was evicted. Seriously girls, don't play so hard, certainly not at the beginning, and certainly not when everyone already knows how you play the game!

Michael Kors and that bitchy chick from Elle are back for Project Runway 3, with a crop of designers who seem a tad older this go around. This group is already somewhat well established in the fashion world, albeit maybe Barbie's world. And while Mattel designer, and friend of a friend, Robert is pretty buff-looking as Project Runwayers go, I won't be staying tuned for glimpses of shirtless men (like I do The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency), but I am totally intrigued by the "shocker" that will "rock the runway" in a future episode!

Speaking of Janice, she was just one of many queens at this years Palm Springs' White Party, and probably not the only one in feathery couture. Meanwhile half of everything Chef Gordon Ramsay uttered was bleeped out again on FOX's Hell's Kitchen, and even I stood up Last Comic Standing this week, I mean with mediocre comics and no Jay Mohr what’s the point?

Back on Bravo, it's at last painfully obvious that Kathy Griffin really is a D-Lister after all. Her performance for those corporate folks, who didn’t have a clue who she was, and her anxiety about what her set should consist of was truly torturous. And then there was that rat suit! She may have an A-List house, but...

Next week’s episode, the season finale, has come around way too quickly again! The season has been marred however by the Kathy and Matt "are they" or "aren’t they" question (the answer: they aren’t, having officially divorced on May 15th). Matt's looked miserable this year. Wouldn’t you look happier if you’d borrowed if $72,000 from your wife’s checking account?

Up next, more Reality coming to a TV near you:

Who Wants to be a Superhero? begins July 27th on Sci-Fi (which Jason’s Room remined me about), and begs the questions: What super powers would you have? And aren't super heroes supposed to have muscles?

Workout, with lesbian gym owner Jackie, and former Amazing Racer Rebecca, which Bravo reminds us about every commercial break, and then as I drive to work there's that billboard that bares down on me at the corner of La Cienega and Santa Monica.

The Best Thing About July 4th...

Is that it marks the return of that summer classic Big Brother! And after 6 years CBS is giving us an All-Star season.

If you think about it, it's really quite amazing that the series has stood it's ground, especially after the god almighty awful Year 1 that pitted the embarrassing "Chicken" George against... Hum? (yes, no one remembers that year), and Year 2, which introduced the evil Dr. Will, but was then marred by the tragedy of September 11th.

Julie Chen is again our hostess with the mostest. Remember the days when critics scorned her for deviating from her hard-news roots to host a "light entertainment" program. Katie Couric did stints in Will & Grace and Austin Powers, and now she's CBS' nightly anchor - OK, so maybe that's not the best comparison. At least Julie's choice in outfits has vastly improved over the years (we still like to snigger occasionally however).

With this being the All-Stars, the first question of the evening was how the hell did Erika get America's choice vote over Dana? Or even Ivette for that matter? And then for the producers to pick George... Well, that was just plain disgusting! But let's think back to our original choices, why no:

Toothbrush-dunking Shannon, or super-hot hunky Hardy - you should really click on thru here (from Year 2)
Lush Amy, fireman Eric or devilish Roddy (from Year 3)
Alison's little ex Justin or the one cool gay Will (from Year 4)

Maybe they just didn't want to denigrate themselves again for another summer. Or maybe they just have fulfilled and happy lives out of the reality show spotlight.

And it looks like Danielle will soon be joining them back on the sidelines! Why must some people play too damn hard from the get go? If she's such a great player, why couldn't she see that she was just getting herself in deeper and deeper?

With the Blonde Bombshell duo of Jase and Janey in the HOH driving seats, aliances already forming (and fraying), and Dr. Will seething at not being nominated, Year 7 has started off with aplomb!